Futara F.A.Q.

F.A.Q.

(Frequently and not-so-Frequently Asked Questions)

This page was compiled to assist those with answers to questions we are always asked on the phone or through email and text messages.

Updated: 06.07.2023

WARNING: SARCHASM THROUGHOUT!

Jump To:

Questions: Company & General Service Related

Questions: Customer Related

Questions: Guitar & Bass

Questions: Modifications

Questions: Service and Maintenance

Questions: Technical Information

Questions: Whatever...

 

Questions

 

COMPANY & GENERAL SERVICES RELATED

Q1: “Your business has a unique name - what does it mean?”

Q2: "What are your labor rates and what methods of payment do you accept?”

Q3: “Your Website looks pretty simple using cheesy bright colors.  Why is that?”

Q4:  “Your Website doesn't show your business address.  Why is that?”

Q5: “Why does it sometimes take you guys so long to complete repairs?”

Q6: “Why do you take in certain repairs and not others?”

Q7:  “OK, I get it - you only take in certain out of warranty repairs. Is that why you always ask for the make, model and serial number of those units in question before bringing it in for service?”

Q8: “Do you honor extended warranties?”

Q9: “I have a TV - VCR - DVD - CD Player - Mobile Device - Computer - Microwave oven or other home / kitchen appliance that needs repair.  Will you fix it?”

Q10:  “Do you repair kit amplifiers”

Q11:  “You seem to know a lot about Fender amps. Did you work for the factory? Did you know Leo Fender?”

Q12:  “Your site states that you don't work on pro audio equipment anymore. Why?”

Q13:  “Do you repair 'Boutique' amplifiers and pedals?"

 

CUSTOMER RELATED

Q30: “Sometimes, you or one of your technicians seem rude or a bit uninterested on the telephone. Don't you want my business?”

Q31:  “Hi, I'm 15 years old and started playing guitar. My mom and I went to [a nationally known mega music store] and the sales person told her that if I wanted to start playing well and sound great, I needed a [very expensive professional amplifier] to start. Was that salesperson right?”

Q32:  “I want to buy a new amp but I have no idea which one to get - do you have any tips?”

Q33:  “What amps do you like or like to work on and what should I look out for when buying an amp?

Q34:  “Why can't I find any good NEW tubes anymore? I mean, it seems like there is such a high percentage of failure with NEW stock that NOS tubes are now becoming harder to find --- everyone who knows this buys them up -- they also understand that NOS vacuum tubes are far superior in quality and reliability! What do you think?”

Q35:  “So, you're telling me that I have to pay $95 to repair something that only cost me $199 new!?! Your rate is unbelievable! - I might-as-well buy a new one!”

 

 

GUITAR and BASS

Q40:  “Why don't you work on guitars?”

 

 

MODIFICATIONS

Q50:  “What do you think about Torres Mods?”

Q51:  “Which modifications does your company perform?”

Q52:  “Will you do a black face conversion to my silver face Fender amp?”

Q53: “...so, for my stock Marshall 70's 100watt JMP, you are saying that your effects loop mod has no mix or send or return controls - only send and return jacks? My [other amp purchased at big box store] has those features..”

 

 

SERVICE AND MAINTENANCE

Q70:  “My amp failed! Why?”

Q71: “Can I use WD-40 to clean my pots (controls)?”

Q72: “I broke or cut off my ground (third prong) pin from my AC plug.  Is this dangerous?”

Q73: “My mixing console is making noises and someone has told me that it needs to be cleaned. What do you think?"

Q74:  “Do you use a tube tester?”

Q75:  “What do you think of the vacuum tubes distributed by GROOVE TUBES?”

Q76:  “Some tube dealer website's are selling preamp tubes with balanced sections.  Do I really need this and what do you think?”

Q77:  “Why do you say I shouldn't use [a popular brand of power tube] in my Mesa Boogie amp?”

Q78:  “How long should my tubes last?”

Q79:  “Which tubes do you like and dislike -- which do you prefer or recommend for most amps?”

Q80:  “I was told to replace all my preamp caps with orange drop types - what do you think?”

Q81:  “Do I really have to replace my power supply capacitors? -- a tech told me I always have to -- even after a few years!”

Q82:  “I blew a fuse on my amp and replaced the fuse with one a friend gave me that was a higher amperage - cuz he said it was better.  The amp made a horrible noise then smoked and died.  What happened?”

Q83:  “I'm a / an [insert elite profession listed below] and I have a low battery error on the display - I was told the battery needs to be replaced. Is this something I can do myself?”

Q84:  “One or all of my power tubes have a semi-cherry red glow on them - there is a low hum and amp runs really hot too - is this OK?”

Q85:  “I have a tube amp that I need biased and I want to do it myself - I read on a Blog / Chat room / Web site that all I need to do is measure the voltage somewhere and then turn the screw thing until it reads what it is supposed to read on my voltmeter. Is this how you do it?”

 

 

TECHNICAL INFORMATION

Q90:  “Series, Parallel - what is the difference for speaker wiring?”

Q91:  “What does F.E.T. stand for and why should I care?

Q92:  “I am only using one side of my solid-state power amplifier.  I was told by a guy at [a nationally known major music store] that I need to put a load on the speaker output terminals so it won't burn up.  Is this true?”

Q93: “The back of my amp it shows 600W but it doesn't sound like it puts that much power out.  Why not?”

Q94:  “Why do I get shocked when I play?”

Q95:  “My amp hums - why?”

Q96:  “My tubes have a blue-ish glow.  I was told by a tech at [a well known shop or website blog/forum] that they were going to fail.  Is this true?”

 

 

WHATEVER...

Q110: “I need a Tortex .60mm pick - Orange. I can only use those because my notes are way more defined. Do you sell Tortex Picks?”

Q111:  “Is it true that the Earth's magnetic pole shift sometime near 2012 will effect the performance of my speakers?”

Q112: “My amp just got stolen! Is that covered under warranty?”

Q113: “Hey! I- ... go-t ... an- mp-p-p ( ... ) ... nee-d ad..s ... ( .. .) c-n y- ...*... -t? ... ”

Q114:  “WuD-uP dAwg! - mY hOmEy He GoT mAd SkilLz dRoPiN' DeF bEaTz A'iGhT! - So, ChEcK iT oUt - We'Re cHiLlin' at mY cRiB wIt A fAt SpLiFf an BOOM! - I tHiNk i'Z Su-'In wHiF dA sWiTcHbOaRd Yo...KnOw Wut I'm SaYin'?”

Q115:  “Hello: FUTAR ELECT ! We are a family of traveling musicians who will soon be in your area...Since we operate on a not-for-profit basis, we request the repair of [list of really obsolete and unrepairable, offshore manufactured equipment] as a donation to help our cause. Your services will assist us in spreading the word all over the country (soon the world!) about [insert faith here] family values, education and problems relating to overindulgence...We will be happy to provide you with any necessary information for your taxes...”

Q116: “Hi, I know it's almost your lunch time but I'm on my way to your shop and I forgot (or cannot find) my Sales Receipt for my (unit in question) under warranty - I have my new-born with me and still have to pick up my 3-year-old from school. I just got a call from my wife who is waiting for me to get her too from her job - can I just drop this unit off and could you call the store I bought if from to have them FAX the receipt to you? - I REALLY need it for tomorrow otherwise, We won't be able to make rent...”

Q117:  “I have an American J-Bass and there is a terrible DEAD SPOT on the 5th and 7th Fret where the G string plays -- in fact, there are a lot of noticeable dead spots when I play diatonic four-finger chords up and down the neck --- the notes only ring for about 3.6 seconds and then go away. Also, there seems to be a 3rd or 4th order harmonic issue with those notes and it's getting on my nerves! Is that something you can repair?”

Q118:  “I just purchased a large mixing console and I am having a lot of trouble getting it to work right. The level meters aren't working, I can't get any sound through my aux sends, there are way too many buttons to push and I have the attention span of a 2 year old. What should I do?”

Q119:  “I just bought my first tube amp and it is making all kinds of noise - like hiss and tons of feedback when I plug in my guitar and turn it up loud - I don't know the model number but it is a good one because it cost me over two-thousand dollars - Isn't it supposed to just work perfectly if I paid that much?

 

Answers

Q1:  “Your company has a unique name - what does it mean?”

A1:  FUTARA is a name I chose because I liked the way it sounds. How I came about it has a story that is irrelevant so I won't bore anyone with details. However, as serendipity would have it, the name has a noble and sacred origin - check out this link: Futara-san Shrine.

A very cool Kanji !

 

Q2:  “What are your labor rates and what methods of payment do you accept?”

A2: Our labor rates are posted on this page - so, be sure to read our terms of service as well. We accept CASH, Zelle or VISA and Mastercard ONLY ---- NO personal checks or company checks of any kind or any other type of credit or gift card will be accepted.

 

Q3:  “Your Website looks pretty simple using a cheesy bright green color.  Why is that?”

A3:  Well, thanks for noticing!  Our site is coded using simple HTML for the reason that there are still individuals all over the country (or world) still using really slow computers like a 486 running WIN 95 and a 56K modem.  Therefore, this site is mostly for them.  Anyway, what the heck are you complaining about - it did load ultra-quickly!

2012 UPDATE: B.T.W... (Opinion) :: We just purchased Win8 and figured out that it has THE ABSOLUTE WORST (although some-what stable for the most part and not as bad as VISTA...) GUI for computer nerds like us! It REFUSES to run our older software! It is as if it was specifically designed for the mentally challenged, social media maven who not only doesn't care about using a computer for what it is designed for: COMPUTING! but also doesn't know how to type - only touch - just like some kind of smart mobile device of some type! Now, we have to do a modified FDISK (long live DOS) and re-format the hard drive again and install something we can actually use without having to purchase updated software that will run on it; XP PRO - original (not as stable but it runs our old programs well with minimal issues)!

...even this primate is confused with the new Win 8 Yerkish / Lexigram upgrade.

2013 UPDATE: Attention frugal minded individuals! We are in the process of updating various aspects of this site --- changes involve some video and .gif animations so, you better upgrade to at least a computer with a pentium processor and an OS like WIN 98 or XP to view them faster - cost? - about $20 bucks here and there purchasing junk parts through eBay. Oh yeah, a cheap DSL line would help too. (really, you should be running LINUX with a super fast broadband connection but that is a whole other discussion - we do!).

- Set your "minty" P.C. FREE !

2014 UPDATE: Well, well... Leave it to the "forward thinkers" at Microsoft to flip everyone the bird - NO MORE XP SUPPORT!! Con-sarn-it! We are thus forced into WIN7 - the XP downgrade. (actually, it's not so bad....)

2018 UPDATE: Urgh! Forced to update to WIN10! At least it runs old programs (when using: right click, properties, compatibility, then pick your OS). WIN8 format is still there though when you click on the windows icon... FEH!

2020 UPDATE: I Can't Win(dows)!! STUPID WINDOWS 7 SUPPORT IS DEAD!!

2023 UPDATE: WIN11 !! Almost none of our original applications run !! Enough !! BTW.... WIN 8 SUPPORT HAS ENDED (it figures...)!!

 

Q4:  “Your Website doesn't show your business address.  Why is that?”

A4:  Yeah, I know. I didn't put the address on the site on purpose for the reason that I don't want to be disturbed by random folks just showing up for no real reason other than to just talk or see if we really exist. There is an even better reason for not listing an address --- I do not want every "bot" on the internet "sniffing" out physical address (like Gooooooogle) Those who want to do business with us will make the effort to phone us and get the address either by text or otherwise to make an appointment for a service-related drop-off.

 

Q5:  “Why does it sometimes take you guys so long to complete repairs?”

A5:   Three common reasons for this: 

First, we have a quicker turn-around than most service centers but we, as well, get bogged down so a definite turn-around time is never stated - only approximated - and that could change as well! Some units are difficult to repair and are just plain "Dogs". These units should be exorcized and buried. Why we tackle them remains a mystery..

Second, we believe in repairing as much of the machine as possible using factory parts -- this could delay repairs but is well worth it in the end. Remember, quality of the work is far more important to us than just "banging it out." We want to see you again with a different instrument with a different problem -- not the same instrument with the same problem.

--- aaaannndddd Last, we have found that obtaining parts for older machines has become increasingly difficult. Research to find the correct part (one that will fit the footprint of the PCB or enclosure) is always performed and with a little luck, we get it!

Man, I always crack-up when I see this on the walls of other businesses! - Image copyright EVERYBODY.

2012 UPDATE: Lately, we have been REALLY running late on repairs but I believe it is due to our obsession with quality work. We spend far more time servicing vintage machines and should be charging for that extra time but we don't... There are certain clients that have absolutely no problem with waiting because they know what they will receive will function as reliably as possible within reason. It is more important to us that your machine is functioning as best as it should without rushing through it and not catching any other anomalies. Sometimes, we double, triple check machines before they leave the shop. PHEW!!

2015 UPDATE: WOW! What can we say! We are blessed with a tremendous amount of work however, being THIS busy can be a double-edged sword. We have found that certain "Gen Y, and Millennial types" seem to believe they deserve immediate service - completely dismissing our regular clients and reasons for not being overly attentive to them - AND seem to believe we are always "connected" and able to return emails or text messages instantly. We do not participate in social media. We are not an "iFix" website so you cannot just download your repair. We are not [insert super-large on-line retail corporation that has the staff to do everything to patronize the hell out of you and give you the experience of your life]. We are a traditional small niche-business that specializes in what we do. We are educated professionals with a focused goal on serving our clients ONE-AT-A-TIME as patiently and carefully as possible - NO MATTER HOW LONG IT TAKES!!! We are human and ARE NOT here to waste time making excuses just to appease your ADHD. We are here to help you - hello? HELLO? Did I loose you? Here ya' go... Have a Werther's.

 

Q6:  “Why do you take in certain repairs and not others?”

A6:   There are many reasons for why we pick and choose repairs. I will not go into specifically why we won't and what we will service as those reasons would only EXASPERATE some of you as they are far too lengthy for this F.A.Q. - check out OUR LIST of equipment we absolutely do not support anymore. It is imperative for us to note that our obligation as an authorized service center for the manufacturers we support is to:

1.) - Provide efficient and trouble free assistance to customers for machines covered under the manufacturers warranty - however long it is and for what is covered. Yes, there are limitations and other unspecified terms but we make those points as clear as possible to you. If your product is within the warranty period, you will get, for the most part, a free repair as long as you understand the terms involved. See our Warranty Guidelines for more information.

2.) - Make an effort to provide quick turn-around within reason. There are many factors involved regarding why this does not happen all the time but you will be notified if there are any delays.

3.) - Inform customers that we do not have to repair every machine brought in to us that is considered non-warranty, out of warranty or something we or the manufacturer no longer supports. We will always support machines under the manufacturers warranty but when it is a non-warranty or out of warranty issue, WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO REFUSE service on obsolete units that are no longer supported by manufacturers.

2016 UPDATE: Whoaaa! Wait-a-second.... There are no Amp Repair Nazis Here! Just because we choose to not take in certain stuff does not mean that we refuse to help you! No. Let's be straight on a few things.... We won't take in your machine because we already know:

a.) There are no parts available for it. Most likely, we have to hunt for them and that will be considered research which we charge for (remember: time is money) - that renders the repair useless if we spend a bunch of time on something and come up with empty handed. That result doesn't benefit anyone.

b.) Your far east-made machine, most likely, has a planned obsolecence and cannot be repaired because the folks the manufactureres hired make stuff by thier standard - to NOT LAST (except for QSC - they know how to handle that situation). That is how you are able to afford a mixer with way too many buttons to push (see Q118). Most likely, you will buy another and that is how the dollar-goes-round...

c.) For units under warranty, the manufactures prefer for us to not fix it because it costs them too much to pay us therefore, you will need to work that out with them either by sending it back for a replacement or having them repair it. Sometimes, these units are so inexpensive, no one wants to go through the hassle of emailing or phoning for an RA, boxing and shipping the unit, and then waiting a month to get it back --- better to just buy another one!

d.) You may just have to swallow a bitter pill. As for your next instrument purchase, everyone understands: "You get what you pay for!" So, the $300 you spent on something that appeared to be a killer deal is just a cheap P.O.S. that has now D.A.F.R. (died after failed resuscitation).

 

Q7:  “OK, I get it - you only take in certain out-of-warranty repairs. Is that why you always ask for the make, model and serial number of those units in question before bringing it in for service?”

A7:  YUP! You got it! Before phoning us, you should have the make, model and serial number whenever you have an older unit you want repaired. Some of them are rapidly becoming obsolete and manufacturers are no longer supporting them. When that happens, there are fewer parts available to fix them. You can look up our growing list of obsolete and unsupported units HERE. Also, we see it as a courtesy to you so you won't have to make the trek here and then tell you we don't support it.

IMPORTANT: We are getting a lot of "...It was my Grandfather's [or some other family member, friend or aquaintance] and I want it to work so I can gig with it" That is great however, why is it full of RAT feces and uber dirty?!? Most units that have been in storage or outside in the rain or under a bunch of junk is not something we want to take in. You are looking for restoration services - something we do not offer. Electronics repair and maybe some enclosure work is what we do. OK, OK.... Vintage Fender vacuum tube amplifiers are an exception - ONLY!

 

Q8:  “Do you honor extended warranties?”

A8:  NO.  You need to get in contact with the store that sold that to you. There may be a website or listing of service centers that may help you. The manufacturers do not honor them either - unless, they provide that service to you - usually, it is FREE OF CHARGE - you just have to fill out and mail them a warranty card to get some extra time added onto your coverage if available - LIKE 2 or 3 YEARS! At that point, we would then repair your product under warranty without question.

 

Q9:  “I have a TV - VCR - DVD - CD Player - Mobile Device - Computer - Microwave oven or other home or kitchen appliance that needs repair.  Will you fix it?”

A9:   No.  RECYCLE IT and buy a new one from a reputable company that will last far longer - spend some money and stop buying JUNK. DO NOT POISON OUR LANDFILLS!!!

We have been making a great effort to NOT just throw away hazardous materials such as vacuum tubes, CRTs and certain lamps, rags soaked with solvents, plastics, oil, and electronics. One of the ways we contribute to recycling is to reuse certain electronic components when they are no longer available from manufacturers - we cannibalize everything (nuts, bolts, washers - you name it!) so it is completely used and beneficial to someone or something somewhere - Heck! We are known to use every scrap of paper (including paper bags and boxes) we can for notes, invoices and then shred what can no longer be used for packing material and shipping.

So, the next time you want to just throw something into the round file, keep in mind you are contributing to a forever growing problem! Ever hear about the "great garbage patch" in the Pacific ocean? CLICK HERE (read the quick facts - mindblowing!).

2011 UPDATE: Due to the toxicity of some electronics, we will no longer return your machine's old defective parts. This is for your (and everyone around you) own good!

HEY! Why not give it a shot and start collecting cans and plastic bottles like we do here. When others (not our clients mind you as they hear enough of it from us!) leave cans and bottles outside our shop and on the parking lot, we grab 'em and cash them in for the Futara pizza fund.

Reduce - Reuse - Recycle.

I like this one better! >>>>> Repair - Refurbish - Repurpose (I think I'll use it!)

OR BETTER YET - Check this out! (ouch! - pure evil to resourceful technicians!)

 

Q10:  “Do you repair kit amplifiers”

A10:   I will if they are built cleanly by someone with a little savvy and experience. I have seen some HORRIBLE work by newbies who believe they can just "put it together" - No, it doesn't work that way. Unfortunately, a lot of amp kits sold DO NOT include an instruction manual - only a layout and schematic with some notes - you have to sort-of know the rest (like: how to solder, use of tools and some basic test equipment, assembly techniques, common sense...) If you have no clue how to do any of that, we can put it together for you - give a call with what you have and we can give you an estimate.

 

Q11:  “You seem to know a lot about Fender amps. Did you work for the factory? Did you know Leo Fender?”

A11:  I have moderate knowledge and experience (about 35 years) regarding the service and repair of Tweed, Brown, Blackface, CBS, Brea made and contemporary Fender tube and solid-state amplifiers.  As far as my knowledge of the Fender company and it's employees, I know very little about that.

I never worked for the Fender company but do/did know and have met a few people who did during the early CBS years and they have some pretty funny and tragic stories. I had the pleasure of meeting Leo Fender twice: Once when I was 15 years old when he sold us (my father and I) a G&L guitar called an F100 and an SB1 Bass for $100 each out the front door of his office in 1981 (my father and I met Leo and George Fullerton as well!) and the other time was at the 1989 NAMM Show. I never knew the man but when I saw him again at NAMM, he was in a wheel chair and in his late seventies. He asked me (while I was checking out a Telecaster look-a-like) in a very soft voice if "I liked the guitar." I told him everything I loved about everything he had contributed to the world of electric instruments. That was a proud moment for me as that was the only opportunity I had to tell him how I really felt about G&L, MusicMan, Fender Guitars and Amplifiers within 30 seconds. Sadly, he died in early 1991 - Thanks again Leo!

Be sure to check out our OBITS page for information regarding George Fullerton and Leo Fender.

 

Q12:  “Your site states that you don't work on pro audio equipment anymore. Why?”

A12:  That is correct! However, we will always accept pro audio equipment under the manufacturers warranty - "pro audio" being audio mixers, power amplifiers, powered monitors, DJ equipment, sub-woofers, and speaker cabs. There are exceptions to what we will repair out of warranty so you will need to contact us regarding which ones we will service and not service. Check this link to see a listing of obsolete and end of life products we absolutely no longer accept for service.

Due to the nature of certain units, some are deemed unrepairable and there are some shops that are completely aware of this. We REFUSE to charge you an estimate fee for units we know cannot be repaired for a reasonable price. They will be rejected before you even walk through our door. We will charge you a $95.00 estimate fee when:

1.) you agree to it and fully understand that we may not be able to do anything for you. That is considered a gamble on your part and legal and ethical if both parties agree.

2.) you need a written estimate of cost for repairs including parts and other fees for insurance claims and/or other reasons.

3.) there is a great chance of success and we have the confidence to give you our best attempt. The $95.00 estimate fee is applied to the total amount of the completed repair cost.

What to do with a unit we won't repair? You have many options:

1.) find another shop that CAN and WILL repair it for a reasonable price and not just take your money to tell you something we already told you.

2.) ship the unit to a shop in another state where inflation has not threatened to chip away at the local economy and interfere with the cost of labor (like in California).

3.) recycle the unit and purchase another one with a fresh manufacture's warranty.

4.) keep the broken unit you have (if you really like it) and purchase another just like it. You may use the broken one for parts like knobs, plastic end parts, hardware like screws, nuts and washers, power supply or other pcbs, to repair and maintain the one you have when the warranty expires.

 

Q13: "Do you repair 'Boutique' amplifiers and pedals?"

A13:   Yes! We LOVE servicing amplifiers and pedals that are EXTREMELY well built! Yup, they are really expensive but the cost to service them will, at times, be lower than something manufactured using a "cookie-cutter" method sold for a lower price. Boutique amps and pedals, for the most part, are made to be serviced so they last for generations. There are exceptions... Some units are not servicable and parts inside are encased in epoxy or part numbers are ground off. Some amp builders are also very "touchy" about who repairs the fruits of their labor.

An incident with Mr. "W"... :

Years ago (more like, 20-some years ago...), a new client asked me to take a look at a solid-state guitar amplifier he recently purchased used. He told me he tried to repair it but got nowhere and came in with the enclosure, chassis and a bag of parts and screws. Now, I would never take in anything that had been virtually destroyed by folks who somehow believe they can just fix it because it "might be something simple" however, this amplifier was unlike any other I had ever seen before.

I thought I would give it a shot and try to repair it but first, I had to reassemble the electronic assemblies this client had taken apart. After laying out all the hardware, I noticed that a lot of it was precision selected, very high quality and / or hand made. Interesting - even the aluminum heat sinks were cast and machined. The TO-3 devices did not have the typical mica insulation - the insulators were very thin porcelin - fragile too - all insulation screws had porcelin or nylon spacers surrounding them as well. Everything had heatshrink and there were no sockets - all subassemblies and pcbs were hard wired to each other with very short runs. This was somewhat difficult as all of this had to be removed / unsoldered to even get to certain devices. What a pain! I calculated what the cost would be to repair and called my client. Naturally, he balked at the cost and suggested that I just box it up and sent it out to the manufacturer. I agreed as this unit was not as servicable as one would have expected.

I made a phone call to the manufacturer and spoke with a tech who asked me a few questions about how, where, who, and what. I informed him that I did nothing to repair it however, it is very disassembled. He told me it was no problem and to just send it in, as it is, to them - bags and everything.

I did.

Well, four days later, we get an ANGRY phone call from what I believed to be a 70-year-old man with a southern drawl yelling at the first person that answered the phone here. I get on the line and attempted to calmed him down enough to make sense of what this was about. It turned out to be Mr. "W" himself - the engineer and builder of the amp we sent out for our client. He was mad! He demanded to know who had the right to take apart HIS amplifier and that he was offended at the complete lack of respect for HIS work. He went on to say that it takes almost 3 weeks to completely assemble one of HIS amplifiers and all are hand-made with the highest quality components - matched and tested for reliablility at his store.

I politely listened to him complete his rant and when I knew he was finished, I said to him: "Sir, firstly, I am honored that you have taken the time to call me and express your dissatisfaction for the treatment of one of your amplifiers. I completely understand that you are upset however, we received that amplifier in a worse condition than how you received it. I am, however, completely impressed with the diligence and perspicacity of your craft." The old man wasn't buying what I said and wanted the clients number so he can obviousely tell him off. I continued with: "I felt it would be much better to ship this unit to you directly for OUR (our - being his and mine) client and that WE (meaning both of us) should just move forward and repair it. I understand it may be expensive to do but I can guarantee that he will remain loyal to your company and it's products should WE provide him with the service he requests." Mr. "W" was a little quiet but his silence spoke volumes in agreement. He told me "NEVER send me another amp like this again OK?" He hung up.

Later the same week, I got a call from the first person I spoke with and he said he heard about our conversation. I think he was Mr. "W"s son. He didn't call to apologize or anything like that but did say the the old man does have a temper. I told him it wasn't a problem and that I have a lot of respect for Mr. "W". He said "thank you - by the way, your total with shipping is $200.00".

 

Q30:  “Sometimes, you or one of your technicians seem rude or a bit uninterested on the telephone. Don't you want my business?

A30:  Yes! We always want new customers! Do not take our behavior personally as there are only three of us here and two answer the phone. You need to keep in mind that our shop is very busy and we do not have time to listen to your personal anecdotes regarding a close encounter with [insert famous rock star here] or his or her equipment or what concerts you have gigged at, who owned your amp before you, etc. We understand you want to "shoot the bull" and "name drop" but that cannot happen as there is/are other customers waiting to be assisted, other callers on the line, massive amounts of paperwork, mail person, UPS or FEDX dude, bottled water man, the list goes on... We ARE NOT sales people - those individuals will talk to you all day with the intent of making a potencial sale. That is not how we operate - time is $$$. We are very "nuts and bolts" people. You are always welcome to call us or send us an email. So, ask relevant questions and we will respond with helpful answers.

 

Q31:  “Hi, I'm 15 years old and started playing guitar. My mom and I went to [a nationally known mega music store] and the sales person told her that if I wanted to start playing well and sound great, I needed a [very expensive professional amplifier] to start. Was that salesperson right?”

A31:  Well, I guess that salesperson was telling you a half-truth. Better gear is always BETTER however, it is the musician that can make inferior product sound GREAT! A high-pressure salesperson will simply frame his or her vapid beliefs in a way that may close the deal faster or try to up-sell you on something they have too many of. This is not a professional way of selling you product!

Original illustration by: Tanith Connolly - Modified by Marty - from Max Mobley's Article: "Death of a Salesman"

OK, OK... Not all sales people are that bad as I do business with a select few folks that are really great and honest. Just watch out for those who loom over you like vultures or snakes ready to strike! Back to the reality of the question -- You DO NOT need a $2,500.00 amplifier in order to play well and sound great -=- that, my young neophyte, is an entirely different issue.

There are many amplifiers you can start with that are under $499.00. Then, maybe, after a few years of "woodshedding" to build your "chops," so you won't "butcher" any notes and show a great potential for musicianship, you can get that dream amp (parents like that answer because by then, you will be working a job to help pay for it!) Check out my LINKS section for decent amplifiers that are reasonably priced and have great factory support (read Q32 & the second part of Q21).

2020 UPDATE: Lately, it seems like no-one wants to work too hard at anything. Meaning, those high-pressure sales folk are slowly going away... Not entirely however, they seem to still exist here and there on the phone - but not many! There has been a slight change of attitude when making a sale. You can buy what ever you want on-line without any pressure what-so-ever! Even when you phone, everyone is cool!

 

Q32:  “I want to buy a new amp but I have no idea which one to get - do you have any tips?”

A32: The best tip I can give you is to always check out the manufacturer and their reputation for service. Some big and unmentionable manufacturers really do stick it to customers by not fully supporting their products. Our company represents only certain manufacturers that REALLY do care about the product and support it well. It helps our company do more efficient service when we have the manufacturers backing us.

 

Q33:  “What amps do you like or like to work on and what should I look out for when buying an amp?

A33:   (Opinion) As far as guitar amps are concerned, there are a bunch that I really like! I love the tone of a black face Fender Twin and a black face Bassman. The sound produced, with some minor tweaking (Hey! Good tweaking - OK?!?), and some great speakers, is just pure love - easy to work on too! I have to also include the 1968 Princeton Reverbs and 80's Concert amps - I own two - both with EV12L speakers. I also like old Marshall JMP 50W amps and Plexi Types. It brings back memories of the punk bands I really liked from England back, well... - a really long time ago! The JCM 800 series amps are good too (when they are stock and not modified by some hacknician!) There was another one called a PLUSH amp. I had only repaired 2 in my entire career and I totally loved the tone of both those amps. Laney made a couple of amplifiers that were nice. I really liked the distortion channel - not a very good build, in my opinion, but some of them do sound pretty good - when they work. Mesa boogie made the Blue Angel and that one has got to be my absolute favorite Mesa amp along with the Lonestar Special and the Tremoverb. HIWATT made a 50 watt head called an L50 that has one of crappiest distortion channels but the clean channel turned all the way up sounded wonderful. Believe it or not, the Peavey Classic 30 is easily the most useful amp for basically anything. I cannot leave out VOX AC30 and Orange Rockerverbs 30, 50 and 100 models --- great amps! All great to work on as well!

All this being said... Really, every amp has a sound. That sound is relative to the listener. Buy what you think you like. Do not buy anything a salesperson tries to sell you. YOU DECIDE what sounds good for you. Take your instrument and try out some amps you have either heard or read about - tell the sales person to GO AWAY so you can explore the tone you want - take your time. If you like it, you will buy it - good sales people know this. This is my advice to you regarding amp or instrument purchasing. ALSO - There are some boutique amplifiers that really sound nice! Amps built by some local guys like Badcat, Divided by 13, Morgan and others - expensive but nice!

If you do not like what is NEW out there, maybe explore some vintage amps but know that every one of them needs work - and that equates to $$$ invested to obtain your sound. I would go with the vintage stuff - always.

MOST IMPORTANT >> For new products, check out the manufacturer's website to see what the warranty is like and how well they support their products. As of the beginning of 2009, We have decided to stop promoting and even let go manufacturers that has shown very little service support for their products (and us). Ya' know, we would then have to reflect that attitude on to YOU! I don't want to do that - it gets ugly when a customer is not happy -- makes us look bad! The companies FUTARA supports are really great! Support is the #1 issue when buying any new products.

 

Q34:  “Why can't I find any good NEW tubes anymore? I mean, it seems like there is such a high percentage of failure with NEW stock that NOS tubes are now becoming harder to find --- everyone who knows this buys them up -- they also understand that NOS vacuum tubes are far superior in quality and reliability! What do you think?”

A34:  Well... Yes and no. Your question is definitely a mouthful.

First of all, excellent, reliable stock does exist but not in the price range you want to pay. I am assuming you are installing them into your guitar or bass amplifier and not into any Hi-Fi equipment. With that assumed, this is an instance of "you get what you pay for." With the current world economy practically in a shambles, cheap tubes are good enough for what we (you, me and every other guitar player) will use mainly for tone - this is true! Sometimes junky tubes sound pretty good in certain instrument amplifiers! We do not need flat response on a guitar amp turned all the way up!

Second, most vacuum tube manufacturers, especially off shore, are using equipment that is most likely falling apart! What contemporary businessmen, in their right mind, are going to invest several hundred thousand dollars on designing (or even properly maintaining) new hardware to manufacture components that are essentially obsolete! None - Zero - Nobody. The industry is, for the most part, a cottage industry only for the reason that it holds such a Niche market and there is really no REAL profit in it --- at least what those greedy investment bankers consider to be REAL PROFIT (big big BIG bucks!). They care nothing about the art of it. So, really, we get what we can afford for now and hopefully everything will remain at least, status quo - for a while longer anyway... I have a very strong opinion and could go on and on about why and how this is happening but I recently read an article written by Phillip Holmes regarding this exact subject. Following are statements that answer a part of your question:

Mr. Holmes states:

"...most audiophiles and musicians are not willing to pay what we should be paying for electronics. The avalanche of cheaply produced electronics has given people the impression that anything electronic is easy to make and should be cheap, or they are being screwed. If you look at what people had to pay for a top quality ECC88 in the '60s, it was much more expensive back then when adjusted for inflation. People don't want to pay $100 for one tube (there are exceptions, of course). This “cheap” attitude has kept prices low and starved the tube manufacturers of much needed investment capital.

Many people have also adjusted to the poor quality of today’s tubes: The guitar players really don't need top notch tubes. They run them full out, and distortion is what they are looking for, not linearity. Sure, the old tubes had different tone, but a Russian EL34 can come close to a Mullard when being over-driven by a heavy metal thrasher. The front-end circuit of a guitar amp makes most of the tone, that's where overload and distortion is designed into the amp."

also:

"Incredibly old equipment is being used. The equipment is sometimes twice as old as the people using them. The people who designed and built the machines are dead and most of the subtle tweaks of fine tuning such machines are lost. Today, with ISO certification, there are records of any time a screw is turned a certain way, but not back in the '30s-'60s. Much of this equipment actually needs to be rebuilt and/or replaced; but there aren't too many options for sourcing such equipment. It can be done, but it's not as easy as it was 50 years ago."

So, really, there have been lots of amplifier tubes failing sooner than normal because the equipment to make them is either falling apart or cannot be as easily maintained as in the past. Unfortunately for us musicians and technicians, we have to deal with changing our tubes more often. I usually (always) tell my clients that tubes are like tires on a car - they eventually wear out and need to be replaced or suffer a flat (tone).

This article is brilliantly written and has a wealth of information --- the site it is on is also FULL of vacuum tube and audio information ---- YOU should check it out!

Here is the link --> click here and read - become enlightened!

 

Q35:  “So, you're telling me that I have to pay $95 to have something repaired that only cost me $199 new!?! Your rate is unbelievable! - I might-as-well buy a new one!”

A35:  Well, no, I am saying $95 is the minimum we charge as a deposit for most repairs. The actual repair cost may be more plus parts, shipping and CA tax. You cannot expect us to only charge you only $20 or $30 for service. I won't go into detail about how much it costs to maintain a REAL SHOP but I will say it is expensive so, we set our rates based on the actual cost of doing business.

Welcome to the new economy!

It is a shame that only 20 years ago, most people would just either accept our prices, or not and go somewhere else - without any relentless arguments regarding so-n-so's tech rates online compared to ours. In some cases, you are correct that purchasing a new unit is better. Yes, I agree with that however, why not just disipline yourself and save your pennies to buy something better and American made so it will last you a lifetime. Remember, you get what you pay for. Unfortunately, this is not the current mindset as folks are now used to paying for inexpensive goods thinking they are getting a deal. As a result, these people will inadvertantly substitute quality for price just to shut thier kids up and appease them for the moment and then get upset later because it failed within a few months after the end of the warranty.

The only logical response I have is to encourage you to take your repair to so-n-so if you feel we charge too much for our reputation, good will and quality work. What? -- you say you don't want to leave your amp in so-n-so's garage because of the neighborhood? What?! -- you say so-n-so tech didn't tell you he or she wasn't authorized to perform repairs on that unit? WHAT?!? SO-N-SO TOLD YOU IT WOULD BE $40 BUT NOW YOUR BILL IS $250??

Unbelievable... Tsk-tsk-tsk....

 

Q40:  “Why don't you work on guitars?”

A40:  I do! I do! I work on lots of guitars --- some brought in under Fender Warranty for minor electronics issues AND my own. Really, you want to know the real reason why we are not a full service guitar and amp shop? I believe in specializing in one genre of instrument. The really good guitar techs ONLY work on guitars and not amps. We work on amplifiers --- specifically vintage Fender, Mesa Boogie, Ampeg, VOX.... the list goes on.

I really don't want that headache of having to spend more time on learning a part of the service trade that incorporates stringed instruments as that could be quite costly - more so as we would have to also stock those parts as well AND have every wood and vice and specialty tool necessary to even consider doing that type of work. So, we will just stick to the soldering irons, oscilloscopes, VTVMs, DVMs, load banks, signal generators and a multitude of other custom made test equipment and parts for what we ABSOLUTELY LOVE to service --- Vintage Instrument Amplifiers!!

Here are a few referrals for local professional stringed instrument service - acoustic and electric guitars and basses:

Soest Guitar: Orange, California - (714) 538-0272 - Steve's Website

TR Guitars: Tustin, California - (714) 731-6262 - Tom's Website

Laguna Guitars (The Guitar Shoppe): Laguna Beach, California - (949) 497-2110 - The Guitar Shoppe Website

Rick at the Guitar Shop in Costa Mesa, California (Nice Guy!) - (714) 256-4340

Please! Do me a kindness and DO NOT bother these folks with your trivial instrument issues --- if you need your strings replaced, go to your local music store and buy your accessories there. The people who run the businesses listed above are TRUE professionals, Luthiers and craftsmen I have known for many years. Call them with your RELEVENT questions regarding stringed instrument service.

Following is a small blurb regarding what we actually can do with guitars (which isn't very impressive however, some-what entertaining).

2011: (The Stratocaster Saga - click here) So, I walk into a local guitar shop...

 

Q50:  “What do you think about Torres Mods?”

A50: I really don't know much about "Torres Mods." I do know that one of my clients brought in a Vibro Champ amplifier and we installed the Torres Tweed Mod in it. It is a good mod but really, it isn't much of a mod as it is a complete change-over of parts. I was really surprised! It has a very different sound - like the break up was a result of a starving or sagging power supply but interesting. I must admit, I do like it.

2020 UPDATE: I'm not sure what Dan Torres is up to lately or if he is around anymore. Last I heard, the shop moved to Nevada and hasn't done much since 2017. Here is a Facebook Link.

 

Q51:  “Which modifications does your company perform?”

A51: We have done a ton of mods -- not just Fender and Marshall gain mods. Over the years, it has been a chore to list what we have done or what we will and won't do. Some modifications are specific to a need and others are just for the heck of it. Most of the stuff we have done has been long forgotten only because there was no documentation made or pictures taken of the result. They were done only once so who knows really how and what has been done in the past. Our reoccurring modifications have included mixing console channel transparency, power supply replacement (switching to analog - they are HUGE!), digital manipulation of control functions, memory expansion on older DX7 keyboards, custom analog audio interfaces and preamplifiers both tube and solid-state, cosmetic enhancements, re-pedaling, pedalboard wiring and, of course, effects loops, tone shaping and gain modifications on selected amplifiers. Check out our current list of FUTARA approved modifications.

 

Q52:  “Will you do a black face conversion to my silver face Fender amp?”

A52: I am not a big advocate of replacing parts from one design to obtain another - even if they are similar. A lot of techs have stated that it can be done (and have done it but with luke-warm results) however, there are a whole bunch of things to consider for that type of changeover. BEWARE! It could get expensive!

1.) Transformers. The early sixties output transformers are simple and technically have less iron than the later mid to late 70's Silverface amps - which some designs get into the whole ultra-linear output sections (feh!) - not to mention impedance, reactance curves and materials used in manufacture. Definitely different so, you would need those older transformers for starters - at least the output transformer if anything!

2.) Semiconductors. Older Fender amps used carbon composition resistors - they were still used throughout the seventies as well so, no changeover there... It would make absolutely no sense to replace those with the 1% metal film types as these are not vintage and are far too clean for what you are trying to achieve anyway so, unless one of them is noisy, leave 'em alone!

One of the most important components in an amplifier is the decoupling capacitor. Fender amplifiers are loaded with them (as are others). They went from the older capacitor materials like MICA, Ceramic, Paper and Foil types, to Mylar and newer ceramic materials like the ones used in the Seventies (there were still a lot of ceramic disks in those amp as well). Capacitors brands like the mustard color Astrons through the Blue tubular AJAX to the Brown (blah...) and Blue (ugh!...) mylar types. So, you would need the older caps as well to replace the "blah..." and "ugh!" ones -- keep in mind, these are now getting leaky due to time and well, good luck finding nice clean ones that won't pass DC.

Oh yeah, we cannot forget the electrolytics on the cathodes! The older ones were the paper and foil Astrons (the dual caps - brown paper cylinders - a lot of them still work!!) and the later ones were the white Mallory types (OK, but react a little quicker - giving a little harsher more responsive sound.) You need the older ones... Replace 'em!

3.) Tubes. You know, most of the tubes in that old Fender were RCA and Sylvania types....... - Yup, you need those as well!

4.) Power supply. What is the point of all this work if you have a fully responsive power supply that does not sag a little? That is part of the Brown/BF sound! You might as well downgrade those as well (I would replace the bias cap with a new one - don't want to ruin those $400 black plate 6L6 RCAs you just bought from [little box part-horder garage store on-line].

5.) Speakers. Your JBL D120 speakers are not flappy enough so try and find some old / vintage Jensens, Utah, CTS or Oxfords.

All being said and done, can you see how ridiculous this is getting. I would rather spend my last days building a time machine so I can go back to the early 60's, grab a Vibrolux, Deluxe, Super, Bassman and Twin and then bring them back to the current time. How funny would it be to find out that they all sound bright, fresh, alive and new! Not "vintage" sounding! HAR!

The reality of the result is that you will not even get close to that beautiful "Blackface sound" using the current technology available for modifications or conversions for the reason that it is merely a form of ideology in my opinion. Techie-Musician types believe that certain amp tones are the direct result of design. Nope. They are the direct result of design AND age - like a fine wine. When pseudo-techie folk start tinkering with something they don't fully understand, well, what was there starts to change and then suddenly goes away due to up-selling and over-servicing (replacing everything because someone on a website / blog / forum said it was better - FOOLS!).

Sure, our collective and subjective opinions of what we technicians, engineers and manufacturers believe a BF should sound like but this is simply a case of Anomic aphasia because no one person can actually describe it and if you ask any one of them, they will merely state "a warm, vintage tone" after a slight pause. That is a good assessment however, not mine. Even I cannot describe it with words alone but I know what it should sound like and I know when it sounds right!

 

Q53: “...so, for my stock Marshall 70's 100watt JMP, you are saying that your effects loop mod has no mix or send or return controls - only send and return jacks? My [other amp purchased at big box store] has those features...”

A53:  Don't ever compare a beautifully built 1970's JMP to a [modern amp sold at big box store for under $400] === EVER!

To be fair to [big box store], their amplifiers are a completely different class of amp. Most likely, a lot of those manufacturers weren't even around in the seventies! So, really, there is no comparison --- too many different species - a complete menagerie! (no, really...)

However, with regard to our effects loop mod --- yes, it only has a send and return with no potentiometers. Yeah, that is all --- really --- we have engineered ours to be as simple as possible without adding more crap in the signal path. Yes, it is a tube effects loop that uses a 12AU7 in cathode follower configuration as a send and an amplifier on the return --- very clean! The send could actually be used as an unbalanced line output to drive other amps for slave use.

We want to PRESERVE the tone of the preamp without further killing it with variable impedance -- and NO, you cannot use it with standard junky, under $100, instrument pedals that were designed for an amplifiers input -- you will kill the pedal with hot line level signal! Now, as far as controlling the level of that signal, you need to adjust it at the effect. Most rack and line level effects have input and output controls (like a LINE 6 POD 2.0) so, why install them on the amp? Why punch more holes on the back panel of the chassis? Why would anyone in their right mind destroy and deface a vintage Fender Bassman, Deluxe or Twin --- or a beautiful and rare stock Marshall JMP - or even an early 80's JCM? What are you a sadist or something?

P.S. Stop doing This! (children get really upset!)

 

Q70:  “My amp failed! Why?”

A70:  It is usually one or a combination of failures that cause a piece of equipment to quit. Following are what I believe are the top 5 reasons why amps fail.

1. Bad tubes: Sometimes an amp will go a few years without the owner changing any tubes. So, just like tires on a car, they wear out and then blow! Change your tubes at least once a year if you play about 10 hours a week on them. This is cheap insurance.

2. Wrong speaker cables: Both solid state amps and tube amps do not function well with instrument cables used as speaker cables. The amp cannot deliver the current needed to drive a speaker with a tiny instrument cable hence, the power amp is stressed and will get too hot and fail (cable capacitance doesn't help either...)! Get the fattest, thickest, speaker cable you can get for greater power efficiency.

3. Abuse: Too many musicians still feel that the only way an amp will sound good is to turn the bad boy up as loud as it will go. OK! I agree to a point... Not all amps react like an old Marshall 50W JMP. In fact, a lot of new contemporary amps will blow if you turn every knob up - not to mention the speaker! Also, liquid spills, rough handling, kicking it during performance, the list goes on... All bad!

4. Lent to a friend: Are we suckers or what! "Hey dude, can I use your rig for a show tonight?" What do we usually say -- "sure..." Then it happens - the amp dies and your friend gives you that "I don't know what happened look"!

5. Neglect: So, you packed it in - threw in the towel - decided to get a real job and have a family. Now, you're 40 and the boys want to get the band back together and you decide to bring the old Marshall JMP or 800 out again. What? It doesn't work or won't work right!?! How about you leave your brand new American car in the garage for about 25 years and see if it starts (no cheating by putting a new battery in it first)!

  

Q71:  “Can I use WD-40 to clean my pots (potentiometer controls)?”

A71:  NO!!  Do not use WD-40, Gum-out carburetor or engine cleaner, tuner cleaner from Radio Shack (that is a REALLY old reference to brass contact TV drum-type tuners), linseed oil, BBQ sauce or anything else!  Lubrication is the answer!

We use Caig Labs DeoxIT "Fader-Lube F5" solution on troublesome potentiometers and have also used it as a METAL contact enhancer as well.

DeoxIT D5 is even better for METAL CONTACTS - like Switchcraft 11 & 12 series jacks or your old bakelite (or polyoxybenzylmethylenglycolanhydride as we refer to it here at Futara) and brass contact Bell telephone 1/4" and TT type studio patch bays.

  

Q72:  “I broke or cut off my ground (third prong) pin from my AC plug.  Is this dangerous?”

A72:  It could be… - depending on where and how you are using your instrument.  A ground pin is there mainly for your protection against electrocution.  It provides a very low-resistance path to Earth instead of using you as a human conductor to it. Some machines (like tube amps and lighting equipment) are complete shock hazards whereas some (like digital keyboards) are less likely to be.  You should have the AC plug replaced or just don't cut it off in the first place.

  

Q73:  “My mixing console is making noises and someone has told me that it needs to be cleaned. What do you think?”

A73:  Hmmm.... Well, there are many answers to that one. First, not all consoles need any kind of "cleaning" -- the kind of "cleaning" people may think is "cleaning." The truth is there are more complex problems with mixing consoles than just opening it up and blowing it out. Yes, the front panel gets really dirty but you can dust it off with a soft bristle paint brush. That is easy!! When you have noise issues, that could be a combination of several failures or just one -- really, it depends on how old the mixer is and how it has been maintained. Second, some consoles, like modern consoles that do almost everything you probably don't need, cannot be "cleaned" -- in most cases, the pots within them cannot be lubricated and faders will not react the same even after lubrication - therefore, those machines are pretty much history and are just plain junk. We have great success when these parts are replaced. That is a proper repair than merely spraying lubricant all over everything and telling a client "yup, your console has been cleaned." See Question 71 for more on this issue.

The real issue here is repair cost -- by replacing so many pots and faders, the cost of labor and parts sometimes exceed the cost of the unit. Last, the consoles I am referring to are usually the cheap ones sold at [a large retail music store] and cost under $2,500.00 -- WHAT? You say you paid $2,500.00 for a console and think it isn't "cheap?!?" -- Do you really think that you can offer professional sound reproduction services with one you purchased at [a large retail music store]? Well, if you think two grand is "a lot of money" for a console, you are in the wrong business my friend! Professional engineers and sound companies use consoles that cost as high (if not more) as $20,000 to $60,000 for used or new ones. Those consoles are the real deal and guess what -- they are easier to service, sound better, and last a heck-of-a lot longer too!!! The proportional cost of service on those machines is lower than the junk that is sold to consumers. You will NEVER EVER see the more expensive consoles at [a very well known publicly traded music retail store] --- oh, they can order you one - but no-one shopping in those stores rarely buy one. 

Remember, you will always GET what you pay for.

 

Q74:  “Do you use a tube tester?”

A74:   I assume this question relates to the old self-serve models.

I remember (as a kid) going into a Sav-on Drugs (now CVS) or Thrifty Drug (now Rite-aid) store and seeing these rickety contraptions prominently displayed for consumer use. What you would do is use the numbered stickers provided in a "how-to" brochure to match tubes with tube sockets inside the rear of a radio or TV (watch that anode cup on the picture tube folks!). You brought your "bottles" into to your local convenience store and right between the MAD and CRACKED magazines and ice cream counter was the "machine" - The magic box that was going to help you fix your audio/visual media reproducer. Now, it was always hit or miss with these so-called testers because consumers never took into account that the problem could always be something else more common - LIKE A CAPACITOR!!!! Anyway, after setting the tester from a table of generic values, you just plug the tube in question into one of a number of corresponding sockets and an oversized meter on the faceplate will display "GOOD", "BAD" or "?" And ---- that's it!

Before I give you my opinion of what this is really all about, do not get offended and send me nasty emails if you are a technician that rely's on this "machine" to give you some type of closure on whether or not a vacuum tube is functional. I believe these "Free Self-Service" Tube Testers were a SCAM!!! They (for the most part) merely gave results you expect to see. These machines enticed people to replace vacuum tubes that most likely were not the real cause of any electronic problems. Therefore, they would be another small supplement to a stores income like a gumball or soda vending machine. These machines were not designed to spec out vacuum tubes the way they should be. A real tube testing station monitors all aspects of a vacuum tube such as plate/cathode/grid current and voltage under load conditions with signal and noise tests. Think about it. What piece of professional test equipment do you own that has a meter on it designed to display "GOOD","BAD" or "?" - My O' Scope doesn't - my DVM doesn't and my Distortion Analyzer doesn't either! If anything, those old store self-service tube testers make great filament warming jigs! So, the answer to this question is not a simple NO but NEVER - EVER!

  

Q75:  “What do you think of the vacuum tubes distributed by GROOVE TUBES and other tube vendors?”

A75:   Well, what can I say here other than every company has to make a buck somehow. No musician I knew ever paid any attention to "matched" anything - except for matched tolex on head and cab. The whole "matched tubes" issue for guitar amps came about when a certain company decided to mass market the idea. Really, the question should be "what makes their marketed tubes better than brand Q..." I won't answer this one entirely only because I could get into a little trouble AND because not all of these tube marketing companies are bad. For the most part, some are reasonable and good to me with what I use for repairs. I am very critical of the ones that market outrageous nonsense that no-one ever thought about in the first place that would make little to NO difference in tone anyway (see question 76). Please do not send me emails saying that tubes make all the difference in tone as I already know this -- I am only critical of vendors that push voodoo propaganda.

  

Q76:  “Some tube dealer website's are selling preamp tubes with balanced sections.  Do I really need this and what do you think?”

A76:   The whole "balanced triodes" or "balanced sections" thing seems really weird to me. It smacks of smelly fish in some way. It feels more like a marketing ploy to sell tubes at a higher cost. I can understand matched pairs or quads of power tubes as equal amounts of plate current through the output transformer has some credibility (really, tubes should be matched using the amp in which they are to be installed - transformer tolerance and all -- heh, heh...). If I owned a pair of Hi-Fi tube mono block amplifier with ultra precise wire wound resistors, NO potentiometers, incredibly expensive super transparent sounding capacitors, precision wound transformers, blah, blah, blah -- can you see where I am going with this? In my opinion, only machines that are precision engineered with precision components would benefit from this. A stock 1965 Fender twin with 10% (really, closer to 20%) tolerance carbon composition resistors, crap capacitors (disc, blue or brown ones in the preamp), wire with a trace of resistance (leakage), a chassis that has no copper connecting ALL the ground points, age, etc... Don't get me wrong, a GREAT amp but a tolerance nightmare! -- I just do not see any benefit in this "balanced triode business." Also, I really do not see any advantage to other processes as well: Cryo treatments, gold pins, etc.! Who knows - it appears too much like voodoo to me...

Image modified and taken from: I AM JEFF

Be careful of snake oil vendors...

  

Q77:  “Why do you say I shouldn't use [a popular brand of power tube] in my Mesa Boogie amp?

A77:  Mesa Amps have a fixed bias hence, it cannot be adjusted easily to accept anything else. I have spoken with the service technicians at Mesa and they say that it may be OK to use them (I guess if you have to, a grade 4 to 6 will work) but they may not perform as well -- PLUS, in order for Mesa amps to work with other tubes, the bias supply would have to be modified in order for users or technicians to make the adjustment. Mesa Boogie uses their own matching scale for tube grading. Other factors like tube reliability as well as longevity - especially when they get the crap kicked out of them in "bold" and "solid-state" rectifier mode (dual and triple rectifier heads).

We do not recommend installing anything other than what Mesa Boogie recommends for their amplifiers. Think about it --- you purchased a Mesa Boogie amplifier for it's quality and tone --- why would you want to be a narcissist and alter that? To make something sound like something else? For bragging rights?

"If you want your amp to sound like a Fender, buy a Fender. If you want your amp to sound like a Marshall sound, buy a Marshall!" - Mr. Sands (a well-respected tube amp guru)

We install Mesa Boogie tubes in Mesa Boogie amps -- period -- no exceptions.

  

Q78:  “How long should my tubes last?”

A78:  The longevity of tubes depends on the tubes, amp, and how much you use it.  For example :  

A set of 5881/6L6 (the good wafer base or WXT Russian ones) in an old Fender amp used 6 hours a week should last up to 2 years before they start to lose "liveliness" - if used everyday, about a year. The tubes are most likely the longest lasting and most reliable tubes made --- just a little dark on the tone side... 

A good set of Chinese 6L6 under the same conditions will last half as long.  

6BQ5s are a different story as there are many amps that use them running nice and cool or really freakin' HOT! So, they will either last 3 months or 3 years.

The bias setting on an amp will have an effect on tube life as well.  

Older Fenders are easy on tubes while old Hi-Watt amps , or modified Marshalls, using EL34s, have a tendency to run really hot - which, if you like that "British Tone," may not really be a bad thing!

  

Q79:  “Which tubes do you like and dislike -- which do you prefer or recommend for most amps?”

A79:  That is a loaded question as I do business with several vendors and I wouldn't want to upset anyone regarding MY preference of vacuum tube. I love certain types for Hi-Fi but for guitar and bass amps? -- It really depends on what amp we are talking about.

For power tubes in CBS Fender amps, I like to use the RUBY STR series of chinese power tube for budget minded players that like a reliable tube that has great tone.  The Mesa Boogie STR440 is another good one to use in CBS Fender Amps. On the other hand, I have been using the 5881 for most other Fenders (in some cases, bias circuitry may need altering). 

I like using MESA/Boogie 6BQ5s for virtually all lower power amps that require them because of their high reliability -- they are a little darker sounding and more expensive but really are better. JJ 6BQ5s are GREAT too but have a really short tone life-span.  

For Marshalls with EL34s, I like the Electro-Harmonix Siemens pseudo-look-a-like. The Mesa/Boogie STR 447 is just as good too with a better warranty. The absolute greatest tube was the Siemens but that one has long gone away...

The Svetlana (REAL ONES - winged C type from St. Petersburg, Russia) 6550s for Ampeg SVT classics and IIs. We can't get those cheap anymore because of a recent balls-up between "distributors." So, we have had good luck with a Chinese brand and another Russian brand but NOTHING Beats those Winged Cs - NOTHING! (OK, yeah, the original GE 6550s were the best to use... How much do you want to spend?)

As far as preamp tubes go, I use whatever I can get the best tone out of -- JJs, Older Jolida (china), Sovtek, older American and Yugos that do not squeel... The list goes on regarding what I like…   -not all tubes sound the same so you need to sit down with a bottle of mineral water and check them out one by one (please be careful... there is high voltage present).

  

Q80:  “I was told to replace all my preamp caps with orange drop types - what do you think?”

A80: I like Orange Drops - they can sound a bit "squawkie" at times but overall, a good and dependable cap. They make good replacements for the budget minded and are extremely plentiful. BUT, there are better caps to use - metalized polypropylene, polyester and silvered (yes, SILVERED not SILVER) mica types. So, depending on the tone you are looking for, consider asking us about alternatives before wanting Orange Drop capacitors replaced on your amp as tone is always affected. My current favs are the SOLEN "Fast" Series and the MKP capacitors.

There are other benefits to replacing capacitors --- old ones (that may sound nice and warm) leak over time and cause noise issues - they were made using materials that are more prone to deterioration (drying up) than new ones (like the new orange drop or mica types). Ceramics are NO GOOD however, they too have a sound.

We try to not change the sound of your amplifier by "nailing down" which cap is causing the problem and then find a close match.

We will, for the most part, ask you why you want a complete cap change-over and then try to talk you out of it if your answers sound like "amp forum regurgitation."

We make an effort to preserve your tone without trying to UP-SELL you with something you most likely don't need and may disappoint you in the end.

 

Q81:  “Do I really have to replace my power supply capacitors? -- a tech told me I always have to -- even after a few years!”

A81:  No, not necessarily. We try to keep amplifiers as stock as possible but sometimes, parts need to be replaced -- we try to replace parts with anything close to what the manufacturer would have used if it is no longer available. For some amps, we use the American types unless a customer specifically states that he doesn't care what we use. Cap technology has come a long way and the old paper and foil types should be changed but not always. If your caps are leaking all over the place then have them replaced. If they look good and the amp performs well, leave them alone. If your amp was made in the later 70s, most likely, the caps are OK. Don't let some wise-ass technician talk you into replacing your power supply capacitors just because he says so. Ask him why it needs to be done (aside from lining his pocket with your cash) and watch him closely fumble for an answer. Remember, the more new parts are used in a vintage amp the less it stays a vintage amp - tone is affected as well!!!

2010 UPDATE: Recently, we have received many NEW amplifiers and keyboards from manufacturers coming straight out of CHINA (Ugh! that figures...) and have found that some, if not many more than usual, have leaky capacitor issues. This may be due to inferior workmanship and sub-standard quality control out of some off-shore semiconductor factories. I cannot remember ever seeing an American made Sprague or Mallory capacitor leaking all over the place after only a couple of years of use. Mind you, the chemicals leaking out of these caps are potentially poisonous if you decide to change them yourself so, wear gloves and/or wash your hands when handling them!! Keep in mind that they also hold a charge to be sure to discharge them before handling. If you have no idea what is being stated here, you should have an HONEST technician professional take a look at your capacitors to let you know the condition. The statements I made earlier still hold for units made in the late 70s to the early 90s.

This is not supposed to happen so quickly!

  

Q82:  “I blew a fuse on my amp and replaced the fuse with one a friend gave me that was a higher amperage - cuz he said it was better .  The amp made a horrible noise then smoked and died.  What happened?”

A82:  You may have done more damage by allowing more current into the circuits.  If your amp blows a fuse, always replace it with one of the same value.  If it blows again, Stop and GET IT CHECKED OUT !!  Do not wrap foil around it or use a value other than the rating that is specified. You can purchase any fuse for most amps at Radio Shack or any other consumer electronics store like Fry's Electronics.

...Current is the rate of flow of electric charge past a point. The unit of measure is the ampere, or amp...Incidentally, don't call current "amperage"; that's strictly bush-league. (The Art of Electronics - 2nd Ed - Horowitz & Hill, Pg. 4)

  

Q83:  “I'm a / an [insert elite profession listed below] and I have a low battery error on the display - I was told the battery needs to be replaced. Is this something I can do myself?”

- Electrical Engineer

- Electrical Contractor

- Licensed Electrician / Journeyman / Apprentice

- Local Handyman

- Garage Tech with a plug-in Soldering Gun

- Friend of someone listed above

A83:  That is a really interesting question and thank you for asking! However, I believe you have already answered it. Let's dissect your question: You are asking Me whether or not YOU can perform maintenance or repairs on a unit YOU obviously have no experience doing AFTER presenting ME with your "qualifications." Hmm... Let's take a look at the reality of what you are facing.

Firstly, NO. You should never perform any maintenance or repairs on any unit you have NO experience with. There are delicate SMT components that are susceptible to static electricity AND WILL BE DAMAGED if you do not have the proper tools and techniques to do the job.

Secondly, if you proceed to pull or replace the battery out of a unit whilst the power is off, say bye-bye to your user programming - there are methods to preserve your patches or data. If you choose to pull or replace the battery out of a unit whilst the power is on (thinking you will preserve the user memory) you have a 50/50 shot at damaging the circuitry - NOT RECOMMENDED!

Finally, there are a variety of units that have the battery soldered onto the main pcb. Again, if you do not have the proper tools and equipment to remove the old one and install the new one cleanly, STOP!

When I need my vehicle serviced, I do not ask a mechanic if "this is something I can do myself" knowing in my heart the answer is a huge and resounding NO.

 

Q84:  “One or all of my power tubes have a semi-cherry red glow on them - there is a low hum and amp runs really hot too - is this OK?”

A84:  Power that amp down! Your output tubes are most likely history! This is not normal. The idling current is too high therefore, the plates (gray area inside the glass envelope) on those tubes are glowing a dull cherry red or hopefully NOT a bright red! In some cases, it is OK for your amp to run a little hot - but not TOO HOT! - It appears that one or all of your tubes have lost bias or you possibly installed a new set of output tubes without performing any bias adjustment and the voltage at the grid is not where it needs to be for optimum operation. Get it checked out - you may need new output tubes for reliability - unfortunately.

You NEVER want to see this in a guitar or bass amplifier! (Hi-Fi amps? --- well.....)

 

Q85:  “I have a tube amp that I need biased and I want to do it myself - I read on a Blog / Chat room / Web site that all I need to do is measure the voltage somewhere and then turn the screw thing until it reads what it is supposed to read on my voltmeter. Is this how you do it?”

A85:  Well, no.  We use the scope / signal generator / load bank / DVM and sometimes Distortion Analyzer and Frequency Counter (for frequency specs) method to adjust the bias current on output sections of vacuum tube and solid state power amplifiers. We know of the method you are referring to and find that you cannot properly observe the waveform for abnormal clipping or the quality of the output waveform into a load. Usually, this "voltage" is either measured across a resistor in series with the cathode section of one of the phases of the power tubes or measured at the output leg of the bias adjustment potentiometer. This is a very quick way of getting your amp's bias some-what near what it should be however, inaccurate and may later diminish tube life. There are too many factors in the different aspect of vacuum tubes not addressed when using the "voltage" measurement method - best to do it our way. What, you don't know how? Then, seek professional assistance otherwise you may end up resembling a human hot dog.

  

Q90:  “Series, Parallel - what is the difference for speaker wiring?”

A90:  This is important so pay close attention!  Speaker/amp relationships need compatibility.  Series circuits allow for only one path for current whereas, parallel circuits allow for two or more paths.  Series circuits are the sum of the impedances of the loads and parallel circuits are the reciprocal of the sum of the reciprocal of each of the loads (try that one on your calculator!)  So what, right?  

To make it easy to understand :  Two, 8 ohm speakers, in series (jack hot to (+1),  (-1) to (+2), (-2) to jack cold or ground), will give you a total of 16 ohms.  8 + 8 = 16 - get it?  Two, 8 ohm speakers, in parallel, (jack hot to (+1) to (+2), jack cold or ground to (-1) to (-2)), will give you a total of 4 ohms or 1/[(1/8)+(1/8)].

 

Q91:  “What does F.E.T. stand for and why should I care?

A91:   Field Effect Transistor.  FETs are warmer sounding than Bi-polar transistors as they function a lot like triodes.

Excerpt from Texas Instruments Document SBOS019A - Regarding the "Sound Quality" of FETs in operational amplifiers:

"...bipolar designs generate greater odd-order harmonics than FETs. To the human ear, odd-order harmonics have long been identified as sounding more unpleasant than even-order harmonics. FETs, like vacuum tubes, have a square-law I-V (which refers to a Current to Voltage graphic that is not shown- m.f.) transfer function which is more linear than the exponential function of a bipolar transistor. As a direct result of this square-law characteristic, FETs predominantly produce even-order harmonics."

– I couldn't have stated that any better... there you are, that is why you should care (with a little brush-up on your Fourier transfer functions - that would help too).

  

Q92:  “I am only using one side of my solid-state power amplifier.  I was told by a guy at [a nationally known major music super-store] that I need to put a load on the speaker output terminals so it won't burn up.  Is this true?”

A92:  No!  Conventionally, most solid-state amps like infinite impedances as opposed to very very low ones so, you do not need to place a load on that amp.  Tube amps like very low impedances as opposed to infinite ones - those amps need to be connected to the load.

  

Q93:  “The back of my amp shows 600W but it doesn't sound like it puts that much power out.  Why not?”

A93:  The power rating shown near the power cord is the maximum amount of instantaneous (or constant - assuming the unit won't burn up!) power the unit consumes (therefore dissipating a portion of it) as it functions. It is most likely NOT what the unit consumes or dissipates at idle (unless it is a class A amplifier - those amps are always drawing current!).  Most of that instantaneous energy is dissipated into space as heat or other radiation (electrodynamic noise).  The rest of it is what you subjectively perceive. Your amplifier most likely dissipates 100 to 150 Watts of acoustic energy (power) at the load (speaker).

  

Q94:  “Why do I get shocked when I play?”

A94:   There may be a dozen or more reasons for why people get ZAPPED when they play. Ever grabbed a microphone whilst holding your guitar at the neck and strings? I have and it doesn't feel too good to suddenly feel that zap/ripple of 60 cycle AC! The top two reasons why I feel individuals get shocked is this:

1.) The ground connection on your amp chassis is good and clean but the mixer where the microphone is hooked into is floating! Yup, that one could hurt - especially, on the lip and face area of your head! Watch out for that!

2.) There could be a leaky polarity switch cap -- this could be dangerous for the reason that 120V AC is leaking through this cap onto the chassis making you a human electrical conductor to ground referenced elsewhere.  

One of our customers, while using his amplifier with his bass, insisted that he continued to get shocked.  He told us that he was not singing into any microphones or touching any other instruments.  The cause: he was bare-foot on a slap of moist concrete at the beach -- a perfect conductor to earth - ground - from the amp with its own ground taken from the center tap of the AC line! Sheesh! He could have been a human hotdog! Hey, guy - not every beach performance is a Gidget Movie (you might be a little young to know who that was...)!

  

Q95:  “My amp hums or buzzes - why?”

A95:  Amp hum and buzz are crazy demons that won't go away unless you exorcise them. Although they may both be the same annoyance, I like to separate the two only because some players will understand this better than lumping it all into one thing --- noise!

Lets examine Hum first: Hum could be caused by several different issues given there is no instrument, or instrument cable  plugged into the amplifier whilst it is idling. Hum could be "bucked out" or attenuated easily by making a filament hum balance adjustment on tube amps. Hum issues could also be complicated when there is DC offset in various locations of the PCB due to leaky capacitors or when other semiconductor devices are failing. The most common cause of hum is power supply capacitors (including bias supply) in vacuum tube amplifiers.  If they are old, they should be replaced.  Old caps are made of basically wax paper and foil (not exactly but it works in this description). The dielectric material dries up and causes the caps to either leak and not filter or pass AC. They can short or conduct and pass minimal or full amounts of DC. In a tube amp bias circuit, problems with dry caps could cause hum for the reason that they cannot filter as well or will short to allow the voltage on the grid of output tubes to become closer to 0V. BAD!! This can cause the tubes to idle too high! This type of failure depletes tube longevity and causes their eventual failure. Grounding is usually never an issue (unless you have a ground loop or bad solder joints that have caused a floating ground problem) for the reason that reputable manufacturers tie all grounds to one point -- you need to watch out for "hack-nicians" that "do" modifications because they can create new problems by ignoring grounding points.

Amp Buzz is an anomaly that is definitely the most perplexing to deal with. If you have a buzzing issue and it gets louder and softer as you move around the room or turning your body to create a "cancellation effect" (remember your trigonometry: -1@270deg + 1@90deg = 0), buzz may not be the a fault in the amplifier but the environment the instrument, amp, cables and effects are in. For example, if you are at home and you are trying to record instrument tracks on your computer and the buzz is so bad that you can't even get a good take. Well, that noise could be something in the room like those old, noisy CRT computer monitors (LCD ones do not create buzz but cheap ones create a small high pitch whine from the the switching psu or backlight). Neon signs, power lines and/or mains transformer outside your window, neighbor with old refrigerator in the garage, fluorescent lights, light dimmers, AC wall wart adapters, and other digital equipment -- all contribute to this as well! Your instrument is like an antenna - it is picking up every bit of electromagnetic and electrostatic interference / radiation then sending that signal to be amplified. Turn your electronic gadgets and other stuff off one at a time until you find the culprit.

NOTE: Hum and Buzz are interchangeable and are subjective.

  

Q96:  “My tubes have a blue-ish glow.  I was told by a tech at [a well known shop or website blog/forum] that they were going to fail.  Is this true?”

A96:  No, this is not necessarily true. There are a couple of reasons this may occur.

Glowing may be caused by the tube slowly losing vacuum over time. The gasses entering the glass envelope help create an ionization effect to occur more intensely - this is not very common.  That glow also may be caused by the excess impurities / other gasses left over after the tube has been evacuated as much as possible. However, after creating the vacuum, there may be some parts inside the glass envelope that still have certain monatomic gasses trapped within the metallic components. To aid with trapping these errant gasses inside the envelopes vacuum, there is a component called the "Getter" - it looks like a little ring attached to the plate. Once the envelope has a sufficient vacuum, the getter is heated through RF induction and starts to react which vaporizes the barium material on it thus creating "getter flash" - that is the shiny part on the glass envelope of the tube. The "getter flash" is supposed to basically "mop up" any residual gasses left over from manufacturing.

The residual gas or gasses within the glass envelope are "excited" or Ionized by the transfer of electrons from the cathode to the anode charged at high tension. A glow appears when these gas atoms get in the way of the electron flow between the components (cathode to grids to anode) thus, colliding with them. There are low amounts of noise or other frequencies (frequencies we cannot hear and cannot be effectively reproduced through the windings of an output transformer or the voice coil of a standard speaker driver) generated at idle causing these electrons to continue to collide into the monatomic noble gas atoms in question - "exciting" them hence, releasing photons at the visible color wavelength created by the collisions. The color of the glow (blue-ish or so --- possibly Xenon or Argon) may or may not become more apparent after years of use but that does not mean the valve is going to fail - if anything, that should tell you the vacuum is still there! Only when the getter flash turns white around the edges is when you know the tube is losing vacuum.

The only way to put this into perspective is to imagine yourself inside a room with smooth (like glass) walls in space (vacuum and no gravity) - you are in the center. You then take a few HUGE bags of different colored rubber spheres and then launch them in every direction possible. You will see that they will collide with the walls, each other AND you. Imagine as well for every collision of rubber spheres, you would see a tiny flash of light. Now, speed that process up to the point to where every collision happens so fast that every flash combines with other flashes to create a continuous glow at a certain visible wavelength - which may be a blue-ish color.

New-old stock American tubes are notorious for glowing and so are some brand new Russian tubes. A super high quality (and very expensive) Hi-Fi audio tube does not glow - only the filament.

 

Q110: “I need a Tortex .60mm pick - Orange. I should only use those because my friend told me my notes would be way more defined. Do you sell them?”

A110:  Well, No. We do not sell any accessories like that. I like the Dunlap Tortex series but find they are a little pricey. Try a Fender Medium - they work just as well - in my opinion (yeah, yeah, I know they easily grind down but you need to control yourself when doing those Tom Shultz pick-on-string drag-runs on the round wounds). Tell your friend to get over himself and use them as well. You will both end up saving a lot of money buying a gross of them in the long run - and besides, when you start playing packed stadiums, you won't think twice about tossing your expensive picks into the audience.

  

Q111:  “Is it true that the Earth's magnetic pole shift sometime near 2012 will effect the performance of my speakers?”

A111:  WOW! Leave it to a Hi-Fi nut to post this one. Internet forums cease to amaze me! Well, I preface my statements as being based on pure opinion without actually doing practical research as I know as much about Geophysics as a typical 13th grade junior college student (earth is round, really big, rotates, great place to live...).

A magnetized metallic pointer, balanced on a nearly frictionless pivot or sharp needle, will most likely always align itself with Earth's magnetic field - as a compass will. This sensitive device will deviate just enough with very little force. On the other hand, there is a tremendous amount of electromagnetic work involved with moving air with a voice coil and cone combination. I doubt that the Earth's magnetic field shift would create enough of an opposing force to effect the core of a voice coil gap. So, my answer on this one is NO - assuming that the speakers you are referring to have drivers with actual magnets on them.

If you are still not convinced and are truly wanting to find out, take some college classes in geology and visit these websites: International SEDI Webpage, AGU's SEDI Webpage, and the Union Commissions of the IUGG. You also may want to look up Maxwell's and Lenz's equations as well for the electrodynamics portion of your research.

Here are some questions for you:

1.) Would a speaker (driver) voice coil itself react out of phase from what it was before the shift??? Hmm....

2.) Would electro-static panels have to be flipped 180 degrees (turned around) for them to sound correct?? Hmmm....

3.) Would a microphone like an older AKG 414EB have to used on the "dark side" (loop switch engaged and mic turned 180 degrees) for it to sound like the silver side?

Hmmmm....

  

Q112:  “My amp just got stolen! Is that covered under warranty?”

A112:  Not for you... Only for the thief that stole it that just happens to have the same name as yourself!

 

Q113:  “Hey! I- ... go-t ... an- mp-p-p ( ... ) ... nee-d ad..s ... ( .. .) c-n y- ...*... -t? ... ”

A113:  Sorry, I don't speak "AT&T"

  

Q114:  “WuD-uP dAwg! - mY hOmEy He GoT mAd SkilLz dRoPiN' DeF bEaTz A'iGhT! - So, ChEcK iT oUt - We'Re cHiLlin' at mY cRiB wIt A fAt SpLiFf an BOOM! - I tHiNk i'Z Su-'In wHiF dA sWiTcHbOaRd Yo...KnOw Wut I'm SaYin'?” (may not be exactly what was actually said however, this is an interpretation of something like what I thought I heard anyway...)

A114:  From what I can gather from your inquiry, you are stating that you and your good friend were using your equipment when something failed and that you believe it might be your mixing or DJ console. Depending on which one it is, we can give you an estimate on the repair. Keep in mind, equipment use and it's eventual failure whilst enjoying a "fat spliff" may not be covered under the manufacturers warranty - it would be something like crashing your motor vehicle whilst drunk on alcohol and expecting it to be covered by the insurance company - "F'-ReeL yO!".

  

Q115:  “Hello: FUTAR ELECT ! We are a family of traveling musicians who will soon be in your area...Since we operate on a not-for-profit basis, we request the repair of [list of really obsolete and unrepairable, offshore manufactured equipment] as a donation to help our cause. Your services will assist us in spreading the word all over the country (soon the world!) about [insert faith here] family values, education and problems relating to overindulgence...We will be happy to provide you with any necessary information for your taxes...”

A115:  Thanks for the email but my answer is a polite NO. Although you feel you are doing humanity a kindness with your good work, we, the ones you are preaching to and who pay real bills - EVERYDAY, are living day-to-day in a faltering economy. I understand that sometimes people feel that just because we are business owners, we have "pockets full of $$$." NOT TRUE. We are existing - and while the cost of living creeps upward, our net incomes are dwindling thus, making it harder keep our rates at bay and "give away the store." (It's not like it used to be...)

Best of luck to you,

FUTAR ELECT

P.S. Sorry, no free tickets to Knotts, 6 Flags or Disneyland to give away either...

  

Q116: “Hi, I know it's almost your lunch time but I'm on my way to your shop and I forgot (or cannot find) my Sales Receipt for my (unit in question) under warranty - I have my new-born with me and still have to pick up my 3-year-old from school. I just got a call from my wife who is waiting for me to get her too from her job - can I just drop this unit off and could you call the store I bought if from to have them FAX the receipt to you? - I REALLY need it for tomorrow otherwise, We won't be able to make rent...”

( this was an ACTUAL call!)

A116:  Wow... I would really like to help but my answer is No, and No.

Firstly, we have two different systems of paperwork for warranty and non-warranty units in for service. We require all proper paperwork before you walk through the door! This is important for you and us. This insures proper throughput in the sequence of events regarding that repair. Time is a MAJOR factor regarding warranty repairs. Think about it...

If you have completed work for a contracting company and they said they would not pay you because the paperwork wasn't in order after you did everything to accommodate their client (putting your money up front to finish the job) and now you need to spend more time making sure the proper paperwork is acquired from the client to at least repeat the billing process?!? Absurd!!! For this reason, we are very strict regarding paperwork.

If you bring in a unit under warranty without paperwork looking for a free repair, then one of two things may happen:

A.) We will send you and your defective machine on your way.

B.) You may leave the unit but we will charge you a storage fee of $2.00 per day and will also receive no claim ticket from us. So, basically, you leave your machine at the door and we will completely ignore it (and charge you) until YOU figure things out.

Also, FAX machines are a thing of the past and are expensive to maintain - that is obsolete technology we no longer use. Don't get us wrong, we have a FAX machine but we would have to dig it out and may charge you for doing so as that machine may reside somewhere in the bowels of this company.

You will need to provide us with either a high resolution digital image or .pdf of your documents - and don't try altering anything using photoshop because we have seen almost everything and we verify all warranty authorization with the manufacturer! See our Warranty Guidelines for more information.

Please note that in the service biz, time is money. That is how we make ours in order to continue to provide service to those who FOLLOW THE RULES. If we had to locate paperwork for you along with doing ours, we lose money and therefore will refuse to assist you in ANY way.

"Poor planning on your part does not constitute as an emergency on ours."

Since you have chosen to share your life with us and bless this beautiful world with children, you may want to indirectly teach the following lessons to them as well. Look in a mirror and repeat at least one or two of these guidelines every morning when you awaken to a brand new day - they will help you with your paperwork issues and possibly regain some respect from your mate.

1.) I am a good person and thank goodness for another day of life.

2.) I am a moral, respectable, ethical, and affable person.

3.) I will never express and certainly not impress my severely radical beliefs and insecurities on others.

4.) I will never express blame, through projection, onto others as a result of my own shortcomings.

5.) I will use good judgment and common sense.

6.) I will not, nor will my dependents, be a burden on others and the system.

7.) I will love and encourage others to love as well.

8.) HATE is not in my vocabulary or lifestyle.

9.) I will work hard and be a responsible and respectable person, provider and parent.

10.) I am proud to be an American citizen in this great country known as the United States of America.

You may also want to check out Michael Josephson's Website

 

Q117:  “I have an American J-Bass and there is a terrible DEAD SPOT on the 5th and 7th Fret where the G string plays -- in fact, there are a lot of noticeable dead spots when I play diatonic four-finger chords up and down the neck --- the notes only ring for about 3.6 seconds and then go away. Also, there seems to be a 3rd or 4th order harmonic issue with those notes and it's getting on my nerves! Is that something you can repair?”

A117:  (*sigh*)..... Really?

Maybe you should try this one instead....

FACT ---- There is NO ONE ACTUAL FIX for dead spots on basses - they are all different and some are worse than others. There is nothing we can do for you to "repair" it short of going through many neck and body combinations to help minimize pseudo standing-wave / waveform phase-cancellation problems (bass frequencies are longer waveforms), fret concerns, string anomalies and a myriad of other physics / waveform propagation / material (finish, wood or other) resonance related issues. Sure, you can add mass to the headstock or body --- Sure, you can add active technology to assist with EQ and increase sustain --- Sure, you can be a normal, well adjusted and reasonable person and just go look for another bass until you find the one that works for you! (diatonic four-finger chords... pleeez!)

Believe it or not, there is a high percentage of basses manufactured that do not have dead spots but you need to look for them. I know, you love that finish or maybe your mate or significant other gave it to you for your birthday or anniversary and somehow YOU HAVE TO make it work out... NO! Keep looking! You will find it! Don't be lazy!

We suggest you find another bass or just enjoy the instrument for what it is because they are all quirky and uniquely beautiful at the same time.

  

Q118:  “I just purchased a large mixing console and I am having a lot of trouble getting it to work right. The level meters aren't working, I can't get any sound through my aux sends, there are way too many buttons to push and I have the attention span of a 2 year old. What should I do?

A118:  This question is one of the worst and I hear it from time to time so, this is my answer:  Take some Ritalin and go ask your mom, older sister, or significant other to read you the owners manual before you start bragging to unsuspecting corporate event promoters that you have a "way killer system." You really need to enlighten and educate yourself with a large amount of knowledge and experience to use a console with "way too many buttons to push." We get calls everyday from users with over-inflated egos (especially individuals suffering from a bad case of "console envy") who ask us common sense questions resulting in a complete waste of our time. !!!!!! READ YOUR OWNERS MANUAL !!!!!!

(this image copyright Mackie Designs / Loud Technologies - Forever!)

Q119:  “I just bought my first tube amp head and it is making all kinds of noise - like hiss and tons of feedback when I plug in my guitar and turn it up loud - I don't know the model number but it is a good one because it cost me over two-thousand dollars - Isn't it supposed to just work perfectly if I paid that much?

A119:  Well, I would really like to know what exactly you have to help me determine a possible diagnosis. Let's just assume that you are using a more professional-like vacuum tube amplifier.

 

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